I had been working with an 8-year-old client in an office that consisted of two couches and an area rug. Toys were available, but they were kept outside in a hallway where children could choose what they wanted for the session. This particular child was precocious, with a very adult-like presence, and it was difficult to break through that barrier.
One day, I decided to shift the environment. Instead of waiting for her to select from the hallway, I brought toys and activities into the office so they were waiting for her at the start of the session. When she walked in, her eyes lit up as she noticed the dollhouse. She smiled, recalling that she remembered having one as a child. Using reflective listening, I repeated what she said, and she then announced she wanted to draw. Yet as she turned toward the desk with drawing materials, she paused, looked back at the dollhouse, and asked if she could use it. My answer was yes, and that the toys in the room were there for her to use as she wished.
She then sat down on the rug, carefully positioned the furniture, added family figures, and began to play. For the first time, she engaged in age-appropriate play—play that, on its own, opened the door to exploring her feelings and thoughts.
Creating Safety and Comfort
Walking into a room filled with toys immediately communicates to a child: This space is for you. A child who may feel anxious about talking to a new adult can find comfort in familiar items like blocks, dolls, or art materials. Play provides a sense of safety, helping the child relax enough to begin engaging in the process.
A Language Beyond Words
Children often lack the vocabulary or emotional awareness to describe their experiences directly. Toys give them a symbolic language. A dollhouse might become a stage where family dynamics are played out; a sandbox can hold battles, rescues, or worlds of control and chaos. Through play, children can express thoughts and feelings they may not yet have the words for.
Shifting Power Dynamics
In a traditional talk therapy setting, the therapist holds much of the control—asking questions, guiding the conversation. But in play therapy, toys shift the dynamic. Children decide how to use them, what stories to create, and what role the therapist will play in their world. This sense of autonomy can be empowering for children who often feel powerless in other areas of their lives.
Enhancing Connection
Play also creates opportunities for connection. A game of Jenga or a round of Uno might not seem therapeutic at first glance, but these moments of shared play help build trust and rapport. For many children, therapy becomes less about “going to talk to someone” and more about “going to play with someone who understands.” That relational safety is what makes deeper healing possible.
Insight Through Observation
Finally, toys offer therapists a window into a child’s inner world. How a child plays—what themes emerge, how they resolve conflicts, which toys they gravitate toward—can provide invaluable insights. These observations help guide the therapeutic process in ways that simple conversation alone cannot achieve.
Closing Thought
Toys are not just accessories in a therapy office; they are essential tools that transform the dynamic between therapist and child. They turn a clinical setting into a safe, creative space where healing can unfold naturally. For children, toys make therapy not just a process of talking—but of discovering, expressing, and ultimately, growing.
